Whispers, ' hello, i miss you quite terribly '

IGNORE MY FACE PLZ K THANKZ..

2009-09-05T09:23:11Z

PLEASE HELP CLEAR
PRICES STATED ARE INCLUSIVE OF POSTAGE
MOST CLOTHES FIT UK6-8
NO NEGO

Blue Sailor Dress, fits UK 6
Worn twice, $17

Dorothy Perkins Tie Back Dress, tagged UK8
Worn once, $26

Cotton Halter Dress From Aussie, fits UK6
BN, $17

Mphosis Suspended High-Waist Shorts, Tagged size S
Worn once, $21

Green Tunic, Fits UK 6-10
Worn once, $ 13

Cotton On Grey Tunic, Tagged size S
Worn twice, $ 13

any enquiries plz direct them to

jglkya@hotmail.com
or leave a comment !

FML

2009-06-16T16:51:33Z

XANGA FTW LA !

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BYE

Partyyyyyyyyyy time

2008-08-30T08:18:14Z

Okay, i'm locking the journal, fully ! But here's what happened recently anw !

Sijia's birthday, 210808

David & Terry's birthday, 270808

Ice cream chef with treeeeeza & charlene & sijia & kimmie !! Then, siglap ( what's new ? ) 280808

Bali house that same night with xinni !

290808,
PP with xuan & and the gang, then tim and the gang, then mel and sijia.
& marina sq with sijia, SHOPPPPPPPPPING !

300808,
I GTG AND GET READY NOW FOR THE CLIQUE FIVEEEEE MINUS AMANDA !
ps. I CAN'T WAIT TILL I'M 18 AND LEGAL AND OMGGGGGGGG LET'S GO PARTY !

I feel like my social life is all coming back to me now !

h8 you Xcore now !

2008-08-02T16:32:34Z

Now you're a part of them,
the rejects.

I'm thinking of locking my journal, maybe partially ?

sometimes i just wished.

2008-07-21T14:33:13Z

When I hear your name
It's not the same
No matter what they say
I'm not okay

And we started at zero
And went different ways
Now we're all out here wasting away
And if we started at zero
Then how did things change?
It seems like just yesterday we were the same

& then i stopped believing.

Edit:
PROJECTS ARE KILLING ME SOFTLY, NO JOKE !

wonder how...

2008-07-15T16:17:18Z

" Bestfriends,
ex friends till the end ! "

I'm not okay, i'm not o-fucking-kay !

bloody logarithmic sums

2008-07-05T04:19:59Z

I really h8 changes. I h8 having to adapt to changes. But the thing is, change is inevitable, and somehow the kind of change that goes on around me ain't ever good ! Somehow i just wish i could turn back time to one yr ago, where i was sincerely & naively happy. At least it's better that way as compared to what i'm going through now, when reality keeps knocking at my door trying to wake me up. I could be happy now with what i have, but everything else is changing so much there's not enough time for me to sit, think and appreciate what i have now. If only i would stop being so bothered by anything else, by reality, i would be really happy, really extremely sincerely happy. At least, happier than how i was a few months back ! Life is NOT good, L(N)G ! SPEAKING OF LG, I AM BLOODY HELL STRUGGLING LIKE MAD WITH MATH, STUPID LOGARITHMS ! I h8 sch, i h8 the stupid long waits for the bus, and the stupid ridiculously long queue for 69 at the interchange, and the stupid tutors and lecturers who just never stop marking me l8, and the stupid canteen queues, and the stupid project deadlines, and the stupid assignment overload, and stupid math, and the stupid tests and exams which are nearing. Everything in sch is so stupid, omg ! I h8 my damn life sometimes, i h8 how i think so much i feel like my head is going to burst !

On a lighter note, tiara comes home today. && i just bought two new bikinis ! HAHA !

I am extremely bored cuz somebody is still sleeping otherwise i wouldn't even be here at all ! DAMN IT SLEEPYHEAD, WAKE UP SO I CAN GET OUT !

jglkya @ 2008-06-29T13:38:00

2008-06-29T16:06:54Z

kimberrrrrly x says:
preciselty

AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HAH BACK AT YOU BITCH !

Hairpee birdaeeee

2008-06-28T08:30:05Z

Belated Happy Birthday Timothy Titus Lee Keng Yew ! I hope you had the best fun last night ( minus the part where i was being extremely idiotic and difficult to handle ) I am sincerely apologetic and extremely embarrassed, i'm sorry ! FYI ALL OF US PUT IN BLOODY A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THIS SURPRISE WHICH WAS KIND OF A FAILURE ! But at least you had fun, DID YOU ? You had better had fun ! Hope the food and drinks were enough, and sincerely hope you like your PRESENT, THE REAL DEAL MAN ! AND the balloons and the posters/banners/whatever ( esp the clique five one ) ! &&&& Lester Tan Boon Howe too, Belated Happy Birthday ! On my part, there's no word or words to describe how i felt abt yst, maybe, screwed up !?

Amanda got us all monkey boxers from aussieeee so we decided to have some fun with it ! & so we did.. We did hell lot of shit and a bit of photo taking while preparing for the party and waiting for Tim's arrival !
So he arrived and OMG his hair is extremely short, but i think he looks better compared to his emoshitlongass hair !

The Bros.

The only people who bothered to follow instructions and wear BLACK !

The Clique Five !

The birthday boy !

Everybody !! ( minus the birthday boy )

ps. i love you

jglkya @ 2008-06-21T01:44:00

2008-06-20T17:51:35Z

I
AM
EXTREMELY
CRANKY
RIGHT
NOW
!

I think i'm just tired because today emotions took over, i'm just talking rubbish cuz i do that a lot when i'm tired. Escape theme park today can be summed up in three words, tears, laughter, screaming ! Retarded but i loved the company, thanks T, SJ, & L !

I A M S O T I R E D B U T I C A N T G E T T O S L E E P .
S . O . S P L E A S E S O M E O N E H E L P M E I T S N O T H E A L T H Y F O R M E T O F E E L T H I S W A Y !

I AM SO TIRED AND CRANKY I AM CONFUSING MYSELF AND I THINK I SHOULD SHUT UP RIGHT ABT NOW, BYE !

SQ226 bullshit !

2008-06-17T18:08:52Z

Father's day, lunch & some shopping. Day after, Escape theme park with the family. The past few days has been great, but nothing could ever beat today ! The most pleasant surprise in the middle of town, thanks to SJ & T ! OMG, LOVEEEEEE ! Let's just all hope the following days will continue to go my way, my way on the highway. I love you Tim, spankadoodles like no other , YOU ARE THE BESTTTTTTTT ! :))))

& it's all coming back

2008-06-13T04:59:04Z

Please come home now and save me from being all alone. I just simply cannot do this alone ! Please come home now. I can't wait another five days cuz i'm dying in this mess i've created. I'm sorrryyyyyyyy ! But right now, i just really need you here. Please come home !!

My mind is as messed up as well as blank right now, i don't even know what to feel or think. This numbness is once again taking a toll on me. Thanks alot ! Right now, ONLY GOD CAN SAVE ME, SO PLEASE DO SOMETHING FROM UP THERE , TAKE ME AWAY OR SOMETHING !

IMISSYOUSOPLEASEPLEASEHURRYBACKHOME !

I need you

2008-06-12T16:45:35Z

COME HOME RIGHT THIS INSTANT, I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW ! I AM FUCKING SUFFOCATING TO DEATH !

No, actually, just let me die !

SEVEN

2008-06-10T17:12:43Z

So, slowly, very very slowly, i'm counting down the days till you're finally home. Okay prediction of 0% social life was wrong, but still, other than today, social life was and is gonna continue to stink till seven days l8r ! Tanning with Sijia today was successful, maybe a bit too successful cuz we're burnt now, i'm just praying hard we don't peel, GROSS !

So i've made a really thorough but abrupt decision to QUIT DB & QUIT SSSSS! That's it, i'm a QUITER, and somehow, i'm kinda proud to be one. Quiting DB gives me less reason to stick to school spirit, less reason to see you, gives me more time for my assignments, more time for my friends, more time for myself. And of course quiting ssss gives me a longer life span, and SAVES ME A HELL LOAD OF $$.

I'm making a change, i'm facing reality now, standing up to it, telling the truth, and being true to myself. Abt me turning more realistic than b4 ( somehow it seems with every turning point in my life gets me thinking more realistically ), well, i'm still wondering if that's good or bad ! Well, whether good or bad, i gotta, sooner or l8r, face up to reality, and that's something i have not learnt, at least not until now. I'm glad at least now, i can live my life normally, not having to keep secrets, not having to keep lying abt my life, not having to keep pretending everything's normal. From the start of year 2007 till the end of last month was one of the most climatic/hectic/secretive/depressing/un4getable period of my entire 18years of life. Missing the drama/action series now and then, but other than that, i'm just extremely glad all that is finally over. I can't get to sleep cuz i think i'm thinking too much, GRRRR !

Return you... So i can return to myself.

Another left

2008-06-07T14:39:41Z

Now you're gone, my holidays are gonna be filled with nothing but BORE. I miss you so much already. Ten days ain't short at all know ! So i realised that it's hard to live without you. I couldn't get to sleep last night thinking abt you. I'm praying hard you come home as safely as when you went away. The holidays seem to just keep getting worse each time, it seems like monday is gonna be called off due to some wedding issues. That's really sad cuz i was looking forward to that party for quite some time, besides i deserve to party aft mis sem test which was seriously screwed, esp bus fund ! But, somehow, i'm not all that sad that Monday is cancelled, i mean i wouldn't be all that fun anw without you ! So i guess i'm gonna be all into work at Triumph, and i can finally get down to that stupid assignment ! grrr, h8 school ! I'm gonna spend the holidays mulling over work and what nots, social life/circle this holidays is going down in the dumps. PLEASE COME HOME SOON ! I seriously miss you like hell.

U-G-L-Y !

2008-06-03T13:58:36Z

OH MY GOODNESS !
MY BABY SISTER JUST SAID 'UGLY' !

Aim, snap, fall !

2008-05-30T16:31:16Z

Mid-sem tests are coming up, and i'm trying really hard to get down with my studying ! I think, what i really need is a very conducive environment ( def not home ) and a study buddy who will not distract me ! I need some motivation around here ! School sucks ! I h8 school a lot, but i shan't complain cuz it could be a lot worse, grrr ! I feel that... MY LIFE IS SO DAMN AIMLESS ! I'm thinking if i should answer the call, but i'm so scared ! I'm thinking if i should continue living life the way it is being led now ! I'm thinking that i'm actually not thinking anything. How did we get from strangers, to friends, to more than friends and back to strangers again, i'm wondering ! Maybe things were just meant to be this way. I kinda miss you once in a while even though YOU'RE SUCH A *OD DAMN BASTARD ! But i cannot deny the fact that we have HAD built something, something which has already became just plain memories for me to look back on, and be content with what i have now ! I still h8 you though, you bloody fucking bastard ! After the torment of going through 8 damn months of misery, even if i'm not miserable now, i still keep feeling miserable ! Maybe, just maybe i'm destined to be miserable ! My mind is so blank but i am so damn bloody bored that i even feel like heading opp to play soccer just to keep myself occupied ! NOT !

The adventure

2008-05-29T17:22:28Z

As lester requestsssssssssss, let me fill you in on the ADVENTURE, the saga of 290508 !
Firstly, while waiting for Ezekiel and SJ to end, Tim, Lester and myself were enjoying the view & wind & music & dancing at some nearby gazebo and all of a sudden, Tim decides to sit on my phone and crack my phone's LCD screen. So my phone's basically retarded and obviously not in shape for use ! So, we took a bus to his place to get a spare phone. Lester went ahead to meet Ezekiel at Bedok interchange and head down to Siglap to meet the rest. After the spare phone was charged and ready to be used, Tim and i headed to take 14 back to my home. AND I LEFT MY ( Okay it's not technically MY phone, it's Tim's spare phone, which is worse for me ) PHONE ON THE BUS, not realising it till long after i came home. And some retarded chinese ass messages Lester and tells him if i really wanted my phone, i had to go down to Siglap centre, at 11pm ! I informed Tim, he calls them and Lester and Tim gets all hyped up thinking those retards are up to no good. Tim then runs out of his home to Lester's home, calls him and rushes Lester out of his. Okay this is the best part.. Lester specifically told me not to write about this part, but i'm gonna go ahead anw ! Lester rushed out of his home half naked and only puts on his shirt while waiting for the lift ! HAHA, i'm sorry man boon howe ! They cab down to Siglap centre only to find out that those ~~bastards, no~~, really kind souls who took my phone were just really young punks, really young chinese speaking punks ! AHHAHA so much for the anticipation of getting into trouble !
Okay boon howe, here you go ! I'm tired now, i'm going to zzzzzzz, school tmr at nine !

Pick up the damn phone, bitch !

2008-05-29T14:17:09Z

They say that good things never last.
Well, we shall see about that, won't we !

forever and ever ( underscore ) amen

2008-05-26T16:42:11Z

My life as it is right now, is very very aimless, but thankfully not meaningless, or at least i think it isn't. Oh, i found this very old song, an old memory from somewhere deep down in my box of memories !

Forever And Ever Amen

Life back then,
when we had it all
At our best,
ever ready to take the fall.

It was you,
you taught me how to fly
At my worst,
you'd stay by my side.

But now,

Our hopes and dreams,
broken and bent
You lied when you said
Forever and ever amen.

For all those lies
you said to me,
made it difficult for me to see
what you said we would be

Because now,

Our hopes and dreams,
broken and bent
You lied when you said
Forever and ever amen

It grew clear
It wasn't you
I was sure
We were through

Now, it's time to let go
our hopes and dreams
all broken and bent
You lied to me
You said forever and ever amen

It's so hard for me to believe now.

Oh, and have i mentioned, BEST gave me one of the biggest surprises ever, and now, I'M GONNA SEE THE CLICK FIVE, LIKE OMG !

The long goodbye.

2008-05-20T14:52:13Z

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah it sure is hard to do
I know they say if they don't come back again
Then it's meant to be
But those words ain't pulling me through
Cos I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me going through the mill
Climbing up a hill

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on baby it's over let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye

Sometimes I ask my heart did we really give our love a chance
(Just one more chance)
And I know without a doubt
That we turned it inside out
And if we walked away it would it make more sense
(Only self defense)
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try
How long must we keep riding on this carousel
Going round and round and never getting anywhere
On a wing and prayer

I know what you may think of me now, it really matters deep down but i can't show it.
As much as i cannot pretend anymore, i have to.

The secret handshake, you forgot.

2008-05-19T15:52:59Z

Sneaking out of the house in mid-morning gives me the thrills, and what happens after that is even more thrilling. Friday, we witnessed a friend of ours shouting at the top of his lungs at the void deck at 3am only because he had one drink too many. Hilarious i tell you, " Lester turn on the music! Let's dance to Soulja Boy, hurry hurry! ", HE-HE-HELARIOUS! But i shall not mention names. Sorry i just had to mention this, and now back to my assignment which is due tmr! OMG KILL ME!

Oh btw, you were right! I don't have to be alone, to be alone. Thanks for being the one to meet me, only just to do nothing! But honestly, even now when i think of it, i h8 being alone. But i just have to, sorry. & i cannot, i know what i said before, but i cannot, i cannot continue pretending.

Miserable at best.

2008-05-17T17:35:01Z

"I'd rather do something i love and be miserable, than do something i don't love"
I thought it would have been easy, but it isn't. I don't know what to do, how to do it, when to do it. It's almost impossible to get around it, maybe i really am destined to be miserable all my life. Thankfully, i've got the bestest friends anyone could ever ask for, giving me reason to continue living whether or not, in misery.

Thank you Timothy, for understanding the situation i'm in & why i'm doing things, and i'm extremely sorry for everything, really. Thank you for taking one step back tgt with me only so i can figure this out, straighten out my thinking, cuz i really need to do this, i want to be cleared of all thoughts and questions. And believe me really, i love you.

Thank you TAN SIJIA, cuz you really are the bestest ( but silliest ), thanks really, for being there, lending me your really tiny shoulder to cry on, and for encouraging me all the way, you never gave up on me, and you were always literally there, like physically there ( but that's not the point anw ), you were there all the way, and honestly, sometimes you say the most sensible stuff which gets me right back on my feet again, i so love you la omg.

Thank you Amador Chen, for being the middle man, AS ALWAYS, and for always being there, encouraging me, trying your stupid best to cheer me up, even if it's by playing around with my stupid fat face. Sorry for the multiple number of times you had to be there to see me looking and feling so miserable, i'm sorry i cannot control my emotions and feelings, and i just keep crying and crying, and trying to run away. & when i do, you always pull me right back. I love you as much, or maybe even more than Benny does!

Thank you Jocelyn, for skipping lectures with me, only because i don't feel so good abt absorbing more educational material because i'm as depressed as anything, thank you for being there, i'm sorry i'm always so moody around you and i'm sorry i'm always thinking s negative, dampening your high spirits. I love you la.

Thank you Tiara Chen, even though you're MILES AND MILES away from me in Perth enjoying store discounts and the really cool weather, you don't forget me, and you're always checking up on me, and you've always been there since day one of my misery, and thank you for always trying your best to get me out of trouble, don't worry cuz you always help, just by listening to me rant and cry, thank you bestfriend i love you.

Thank you Yunxuan and Evie, even though i hardly ever speak to you both anymore, i know if you're here with me, you'd be wanting to beat the shit out of someone cuz I'm feeling as miserable as anything, and thank you for being there. I really miss you both like hell!

Thank you Mel and Pat for being really empathetic, for listening to me throw a whole bunch of miserable crap stories of how i ended up in such a sorry state and trying to help me out by cheering me up, bringing me to drink, which obviously, i want more of that! Love you both, and i miss you Mel!

Thank you Fugly assholes ++, for not allowing everything that has just happened to affect anything and make things only more awkward than it alr is, how you're treating me, and stuff.

Thank you FBIL, and SISSY for being the sweetest young couple which i think should last as long as anything, thank you for listening to my crap, supporting me in whatever i do ( Okay maybe you don't always support me, Jolene ), but, you guys, surprisingly, give me a lot of reason to continue striving for what i want, please please treasure each other, don't end up like me.

Finally, thank you, really! You bring a whole new meaning to my life, which i am still trying to figure out. Maybe i'm really better off alone, miserable. I'll continue pretending, i can do it, i will do it. I'm strong enough to get this through, i will.

When girls PMS.

2008-05-13T06:34:42Z

I H8 CONTEMPLATING.
I H8 NOT CONTEMPLATING.
I H8 IT WHEN I'M NOT UNDERSTOOD.
I H8 IT WHEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I H8 BEING ALONE.
I H8 HAVING EVERYONE AROUND ME.
I H8 IT WHEN YOU DON'T CARE.
I H8 IT WHEN YOU CARE TOO MUCH.
I H8 HOW YOU TRY AND RUN MY LIFE.
I H8 HOW YOU DON'T.
I H8 HOW YOU MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL ABT THINGS.
I H8 HOW YOU PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED.
I H8 PAIN.
I H8 LENIENCY.
I H8 YOU.
I H8 ME.
I H8 TODAY.
I H8 YESTERDAY MORE.
I H8 EVERYDAY.
I H8 MY LIFE.
I H8 PERIODS AND THE PRE PERIOD SYNDROMES!

This is such a fiesty post, i'm sorry.

The pbu.

2008-05-12T15:13:10Z

The regression of doing something you think over and over before doing, but still end up screwing. And here i am thinking about not thinking about everything while everyone's busily enjoying the company of those they have around them. So they say, life isn't always as bad as you make it out to be, and no matter how dreadful and not-worth-living-for life gets, things will get better, maybe not now, but eventually. Somehow my eventually never arrives, and for more than a year, things are still as sour, maybe even worse now. The hardest part of living for me now is just taking breaths to stay. It's all a lie, you lied to me, so did you. You said everything will get better, i can do it, i'm a strong girl, i'll get over it. Too many a time i've heard those words, now they don't mean anything anymore, i'll never believe what they say now. As much as i cannot make decisions on my own, i cannot let others control the things i should/want/shouldn't/must do. I'm typing so much shit i don't even know what i'm typing or trying to say anymore. Life's really meaningless now, like how i have to live on to see how much more miserable my life can get, i think i'm better off dead. Enough said, i have already dampened the spirits of many today, i'm sorry Sijia & Jocelyn. And really, without you both, i'd be a lot worse off, thank you a million times over and over. And i'm sorry sister of mine for keeping you up in the middle of the night listen to me say nothing at all.

Here's to you, to the memories gone so young.
Cuz i can live without you, but without you i'll be miserable at best.